Thursday, October 20, 2011

A call to immediate action!

I am reposting this from my dear friend Dawn's blog... www.prayingthemhome.blogspot.com

I warn you that the links are difficult to process...you cannot imagine the cruelty that goes on in this world. I am so burdened...I can not even begin to put into words how this makes me feel...


Posted: 19 Oct 2011 12:46 PM PDT
I read this today and was horrified. Please, please repost this and spread the word. Something MUST be done...

"Help us be their voice"..."There are over 75 children in Son of God orphanage in Carrefour, Haiti. This orphanage is full of abuse, physical, sexual, emotional. Full, FULL of trafficking. Child trafficking (which one of the directors of the orphanage is now in jail for) and organ trafficking. Yes, ORGAN trafficking. Officials have been able to track organs back to this orphanage. Children’s organs...."

"A call to close Son of God orphanage"...."After continued visits to the Son of God Orphanage in Carrefour, Haiti, six charitable organizations (Adventures in Missions, Bridgeway Church, Timberline Church, Children's HopeChest, Journey Community Church, and Respire Haiti) have challenged the global community to force the hands of international leaders in the closure and investigation of the facility....."

Sad.

Devastating.

Disgusting.

Please do what you can to help these children.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

By the root...



We have been dealing with these annoying vines in our backyard. I admit they are lovely, they bloom with a bright yellow flower and then a sort of mini pumpkin-like seed pod. Yet in no time, they will completely cover everything around. I noticed them first on the back of the fence, and in the matter of weeks they spread to cover the mini palms and bougainvillea. A month later, they were literally everywhere. They now covered our entire fence, all the foliage and were creeping onto the back patio area. Enough was enough, something had to be done.


Thankfully I was in a super foul mood. Nothing like wrestling it out with a bunch of stinkin' vines. I attacked them with a vengeance. I have removed them before, what I learned the first time was this- you have to pull them out by the root, or they will absolutely come back. As I attacked the vines yesterday morning, I began speaking to the Lord. I was begging him to be clear with me on a number of issues. As I worked, He worked on my heart- revealing to me that I needed to first deal with my own sin areas. Ugh, thanks a lot God. How humbling is that???


Over the next hour and a half, He continued to show me what He meant. The weedy vines represent sin, and if I didn't do something about my sin, it would quickly overcome my life- the same way the vines were overcoming the backyard. There is something so interesting about this particular vine. Its root was green all the way down, then as it got close to the dirt- it became brown, as if to camouflage itself. You have to look very carefully to find it. Hmmm...doesn't our sin masquerade that way as well? It camouflages itself as justification. We have a  right to be angry, to be vengeful....etc.etc, I am sure you get my point. Sin is the little lies we tell ourselves, to justify our angry feelings- our ________ feelings, easy to fill in the blanks with any number of deceptive emotions.


So I began to visualize pulling out my own sin areas as I pulled out those irritating roots. An amazing thing happened over that hour or two...I began to release my frustrations towards others and deal with my own foul self. With every root, I began to experience more and more freedom. In the end, I felt completely released and relieved. As Big C and I carted those vines to the alley can, I visualized throwing those selfish areas of my life away. I realize that the Lord used the situation to free me. I felt immensely grateful.


Now today, I have a few war wounds...scratches on my arms and literally about 15 splinters (darn those bougainvillea!). What a reminder though of what sin can do to us- it is damaging and it hurts. I realize that my sin hurts me, then spills over to hurt others in my life- taking over exactly as that vine does.


I face today with a renewed perspective, attitude and spirit. I praise God that he is gentle enough to show me, and loves me enough to humble me when necessary. Now I soldier on...doing my darndest to love those in my life the way Christ loves me.

     And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and      honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all that you learned and received from me- everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. 
                                                                                                                         Phillipians 4:8-9


May the God of peace be with you as well...



--The Amateur Mama

Monday, September 26, 2011

Birthdays and Gotcha days and Court dates, oh my!

Did you just hear me exhale? Yep...have been holding my breath for like two weeks here. It is really not quite so terrible, but lately there has been a LOT on our plates. It seemed like everyday there was something fairly large and time-consuming to accomplish. Today, is the first day I could actually say...ahhhhh...and relax while scrubbing my floors, dusting the house, and generally getting things in order. Why would cleaning be a way to relax? Well....because it meant that I didn't have to be anywhere else.

Since Sept. 12th we have repeatedly visited the dentist, the orthodontist, I was called to jury duty (again for literally like the 10th time in my life...every two years since turning 18), Big C finished community service (woo-hoo! Loved supervising all that baking for the homeless...but 18 dozen brownies, 7 loaves of banana bread, 5 loaves of Amish white bread, and 2 dozen cookies later...I think our electric bill will definitely go down!),  fixed numerous "are you kiddings?" on the house, hosted out of town family, celebrated Big C's 15th birthday, celebrated Big C's 7 year "gotcha day", and had our final appointment with Juvenile Arbitration. Just look at how photogenic Big C always is- and that hair! Seriously, it is almost legendary...I mean, isn't there a Pantene commercial or something in his future???



So you see why today I am finally exhaling. The most exciting thing on my calendar for the next two weeks is a conference with Little C's teacher. A conference that I am not stressing over (yaay!), since Little C is right on target in this second go-round of 1st grade. The fridge at our house is sporting a 5/5 spelling test and a 100% math test, taken all on his own. That is so much of a halleluia, I can almost hear the angels singing!

Big C loves home-school, and home-school co-op. He is really having so much fun. If Big C was in regular HS he would be rising at about 5 am, running out the door to catch the bus at about 6...when the rooster is still snoozing. Now, he can play soccer with the other home-school neighbors until 9:30 or 10, come in totally whipped, shower and sleep until 8 or so. He finishes school in 2.5-4 hours, it all depends and is really understanding what he is learning. On Friday's he goes to co-op with the neighbors, has made friends, and comes home happy. I think the biggest lesson he is learning would involve boundaries, that they do exist and that they were a bit skewed for him before.

I really do enjoy being home for my family. I love dropping off and picking Little C up from school, having a clean kitchen (most of the time), and generally taking better care of myself. That involves making time to get by backside on the treadmill (but that is for another post)...

Looking forward to a peaceful week, full of organizing, laundry and time spent enjoying the precious family God has given me.

With Love,
The Amateur Mama

Friday, September 2, 2011

Bye, Bye summer...

How did so much time pass? I am just not sure, but life has surely been happening to us around here. Between preparing for school, colds, volunteering, visitors, and tutoring...well, we have been kind of busy. This mama will now be getting back on track with the blog. I would call this last month an adjustment period...Big C is adjusting to home school, Little C is really enjoying school, and it is just a blessing, period. Right now we are allowing the Lord to meet our needs financially and spiritually, and He does not disappoint. Here is a photo tribute to summer...

Go Carting




Fishing and Camping




 Swim Lessons


Time with Friends


Goggles...oh those goggles!


It was a great summer...very relaxing...the first time we have not been on a big trip in a long time. We took things easy, and enjoyed one another. It was a time to realign our focus, and make some huge decisions. Next up...home-school adventures. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Driving Lessons

                  
Yesterday we visited with some dear people. Mr. and Mrs. J are the parents of a close friend. I practically grew up in their home, had many a sleep-over there. In the past few years they have moved further north.  We were up their way and were able to have lunch, and spend the afternoon enjoying their company. They are just precious people, and Big C enjoyed himself MORE than he expected to.
Mr. and Mrs J live in a cute little retirement community. Many residents there tool around on golfcarts, and the J's are no exception. Mr. J took C out for some "driving lessons". C was eager to give it a whirl...

While we waited, I kept my eyes closed chit-chatted with Mrs. J. :) No emergency vehicles were necessary, Big C is a natural! What a relief! They invited us to stay the night, and if we had planned better we would have. It was so nice to spend time with such a charming and lovely couple. Wish my friend K could have been there, but spending time with her parents was equally enjoyable. 
It was so nice to have a day with Big C where we could really talk, no interruptions from little brothers, etc on the car ride. At first he was pretty incensed about having to make the trip. Often he gets a bit carsick on long car trip. However, once on the road he began to relax. God has been doing a mighty work in Big C's heart- he shared so much with me on the drive, a huge thank you to all of you who have been praying. Please keep them coming...they mean so much to us!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

In the beginning...


This photo changed everything. The Lord wrote this story, of that I am sure. I will start at the beginning...

David and I were married in December 1995. Not quite a year later I was given some devastating news. After routine surgery to remove an ovarian cyst, I was told that I had advanced endometriosis. The recommendation drastic drug therapy, then for us to attempt to get pregnant. They didn't want us to wait...there was no time they said.

We felt we had no options, so first I began a drug enduced menopause at 23. I was less than pleasant to live with, had hot flashes that came on like a shot, kept me awake at night...spritzing myself with a spray bottle fan and feeling I would come unglued. When it was over, we began to work on conception.

In 2003 I had my fifth surgery to remedy this disease, I was tired of the fertility drugs, of the repeated appointments, changing doctors 3 times...I was left with a fallopian tube and 1/2 an ovary. That little ovary should "get up and go" they said. Ummmm...well, it didn't.

We discussed adoption a few times, but never got very far. To be honest, I was shattered. I watched with joy and sadness as my friends all began to build their families around me. David and I filled our time with world travel. He loved to travel, and over time I began to love it too. It didn't matter where we went as long as we were together.

Not once did David ever express anger or regret. He told me over and over again that it didn't matter, all that mattered was that we had each other. His love pulled me through. Still I had a void that could not be filled. I felt incomplete. I felt like less of a woman...that infertility, specifically endometriosis stole my ability to be whole. In 2003, the Lord began to fill that void in my life.

My entire life had been spent in church, I gave my life to the Lord at an early age. For the longest time I had a foot in the world and a foot in the Word. Riding that fence gave me no peace...it was time for me to take a stand of faith and I began to dig in. The Lord began to renew me, reach me, touch me...heal me.

On March 16th 2004, David ran into an old friend. They ended up having lunch and his friend shared that they were in the process of an International Adoption from India. David came home energized about this idea. I pulled out the adoption packet that I had ordered only weeks before, I had hidden it in a drawer. Many countries were highlighted, we ruled out Guatemala because it was so costly. China was high on our list and we decided to begin doing some research. I was cautiously excited.

March 17th is my birthday. That morning as I sat doing my prayer and devotional time, I felt the Lord place a name on my heart. Sarai. I questioned prayerfully, "Sarai? Lord I don't understand...why would I name a child after myself?" Sarai(Sarah) is someone that I always identified with...she received the blessing of a child late in life. Yet she had to learn to listen and trust the Lord, and that is something I identified with as well, the struggle to trust.

Later that day, David and I met for lunch. We were excited about the possibility of adoption and began to look online for information. I had a half-day that day, so when David left to go back to work- I stayed online. I found a website, Precious in His Sight. It was a photolisting of available children. I clicked to look at infants and there she was....Sarai. I felt that it was a sign of some sort, and e-mailed the information to David. I called the woman from the agency who photolisted Sarai. She was in the process of being referred to a woman in Texas. She was not meant for her I felt, but the woman promised to call me back.

That afternoon, as I came to pick up David I asked him if he looked at the photo. He did he said, but it wasn't her photo that grabbed him, it was another photo. The photo of the boy I thought was just the poster child for the website. When David saw him, something in him stirred. He too thought he was the poster child for the website, but when he moved the cursor over his photo it turned into a hand. He clicked and there was the link...name, DOB, location...Guatemala. He knew in his heart, this little boy was meant to be his child.

I was shocked. I could not put into words how I felt, but after teaching Emotionally Disturbed children for a number of years I felt too burned out to take on a child who may have a good deal of emotional baggage. Then the agency representative called and spoke to David. She told him Big C's story...I felt like throwing  up. How could I turn away from a child like this? How? Yet, what about a baby? I had the strongest desire to mother an infant, and found myself more confused than ever.

That night I started The Purpose Driven Life bible study. I went, even though it was my birthday and I was in a mental fog- and on the drive home the Lord began to deal with my heart. When I arrived, I marched in and told David,  "I will pray. If the Lord puts a burning desire on my heart to adopt this child, that is what we will do. " David wept.

I found it difficult to fall asleep that night, but continued to pour my heart out to God and then eventually released the whole thing. I asked Him to place that burning desire there...if it was His plan for us. The next morning I awoke with a sensation I had never before experienced. It was, without a doubt the burning desire. It physically engulfed me- I felt nauseated at the thought of NOT adopting this child. I knew in my heart that he was ours, and I woke David. We wept together.

The rest is somewhat of a whirlwind. For those who have adopted before, receiving a referral before you so much as have a homestudy is basically unheard of. Yet, that is what happened here. By May we were visiting...


Above is our very first family photo...he was a tiny little guy. He was just so precious. At 8 years old he weighed all of 42 pounds soaking wet. We were smitten...he fit right in! He had the most amazing sense of humor, we laughed with him continuously.


Big C and David played water guns for days! The little guy had the best time, but time was slipping through our fingers and before we knew it, it was time to return him to his orphanage. We were inconsolable, as we had no idea how long it would be before he was able to come home. The agency told us that it could be at least a year.

Upon returning home, we submitted our dossier (a collection of papers needed by the home country to process the adoption). We began more waiting...but then, a miraculous thing happened. In early-mid September I got a phone call from the agency while I was at work. I found that to be odd, and became worried. The director asked me if I was sitting down. Then she asked me if I was ready to travel to Guatemala, because our son was ready to be picked up! Seriously???!!! I was elated! It was nothing short of a miracle! He was literally processed in 3 mos- from the time our dossier arrived, less than 6 mos from the time we saw him! We booked our tickets.

Big C's birthday is September 17th- we were due to arrive, pick him up and return home in time to celebrate his birthday with him! We couldn't believe it, we were due to travel on September 11th (I know, hard day to travel)- but Hurricane Charley had other ideas. There was no way we could travel, we had to board up our windows, secure our home- miss his birthday. I was devastated, the airlines understood and wouldn't charge us a thing. Hurricane Charley came and went, and one week later we traveled.

As we arrived to pick up our son, time stood still. To be standing where I knew that God had placed us nearly overwhelmed me. Big C was God's plan for our family. In that moment, I felt grateful for endometriosis. As strange as that may sound, I thought of the Robert Frost poem...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


For us, we took the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference. Thank you Father, this road continues to bless us.