Mini-Vacation...

Grandpa gave us two, unused- FREE tickets to Walt Disney World...

An opportunity for Little C to meet up with Cousin A- for A's 6th birthday...

Fun is a guarantee...

These boys know how to be silly!

Even though we got a bit sweaty, the day was "mild" for Florida, late July. Big C did not want to come...we usually just ignore this and bring him anyway, which can result in a petulant attitude, etc. This time, we were in no mood to cajole him into coming. Since he didn't want to come, he didn't come. He stayed with Grandma and Grandpa- I think he was a bit surprised to tell you the truth, he seems to enjoy the attention this usually garners. This time, no attention. Perhaps he will choose to come next time. Perhaps not. We wished he was there, but still had a great time...

It is always fun to spend time with Family; we love R, D and cousin A...we wish we lived closer! The boys are the perfect age to play together.

Until next time...

44 years

Today is my parents 44th Wedding Anniversary. That is something to celebrate! How do families on a budget do it? Well, they turn their living room into a restaurant, complete with Haitian wait staff...

Our Haitian sensation practiced and practiced. Little C could not wait to be a waiter (he wanted to know what he was waiting for), and remembered exactly what to ask...

The Anniversary couple was quite pleased with their dinner...

The Guatemalan Chef made sure that the meal was to their liking...

The anniversary cookie cake turned into what we are calling "boo-boo cake", slightly crispy around the edges, but loved by all...

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad (Grandma and Grandpa)! We love you so much and are grateful for all that you do for us...so happy we could share your anniversary with you.

Love,
S, D, C & C

Packing...

This week I packed up my classroom. I loved that classroom, I loved teaching at that school, I loved teaching kindergarten. I love my son more. That is really what it comes down to. Packing was surreal at first and became more and more real as the day wore on.

I fit everything that belonged to me into about 8 large storage boxes, some crates, and a few bags. I fit a rocking chair and all of those things into my van. ALL OF IT. That was very strange. Yet as I drove out of the school, home and unloaded it all- I felt oddly relieved. Relieved in the sense that I feel we made the right decision.

As we approach the end of the summer, I am beginning to look forward to schooling Big C. Looking forward to what the future holds. I see the changes in Big C- he is looking forward to being schooled at home. We have been talking about our plans...

     *Plant a garden- one that can eventually feed our family, or at least take the burden off our vegetable bill.
     *Join a Calvary's home-school co-op
     *Ordering curriculum

Big C is particularly excited about the garden. He LOVES gardening, and it really is so therapeutic. He has the greenest of green thumbs, and I truly believe it will flourish under his care. He is a more relaxed kiddo these days. He is communicative and happy. That is not to say he doesn't have his moments. He is particularly incensed about having to continue at the horse farm. He is quite allergic to hay , so without some allergy meds he is miserable.

We are moving forward around here, looking forward to what the future holds.

Positive Influences

Friends

For teenagers, friends are quite possibly the single biggest influence in their lives.
As a parent, you pray that you have imparted enough wisdom to your children, that they will make wise choices in regards to friends.

Big C and JJ have been friends for 7 years now...JJ was the very first friend Big C made. When Big C could not speak any English, and the boys met at soccer, they did not need language to communicate. Now, as they sit for hours in front of Fifa Soccer, they still do not need language to communicate. It sounds something like this...

     Oh! Snap! Uhhhh! Yes-esssss! Boo-yaaaaa!!! Los! Chica- no!

They really are hilarious! This is the kind of friend you pray for...and continue to pray for...

Bread is like a prayer...

I have been baking bread for my family for the past month or so. Homemade bread is a promise I made to myself, when we finally decided to move forward with me staying home. I have found that for me, baking bread is like a prayer.

As I knead the dough, I find myself pouring out my heart to the Lord, lifting up my family and friends in prayer. Each loaf is like a little piece of my heart, my love, a way to nourish those I love so very much. I found a really great recipe, and have been tweaking it weekly. Adding a little more wheat, a little more honey...a little of this, a little of that. Baking bread is a time for me to quiet my heart, to settle my spirit, to connect with who I feel the Father made me to be.

As a mother, I feel that the Lord made me to be an intricate part of nourishing my family. Food is not the only way...for my children to see me absorbed in the Word, living my life in a way that would glorify the Lord- then I am a part of nourishing them body, spirit and soul.

I find myself looking forward to the days that I will be baking bread. My mind seems the most focused on the Lord during this time, it is as if I can shut out all distractions and just commune with Him. I can also begin to receive His love...allow myself to be imperfect. No two loaves come out the same; some are larger, some are smaller, some have minor cracks in the crust- they are imperfectly perfect. I think that is the way the Lord sees us. He loves the differences in us, he made us to be exactly who we are.

Swim Lessons

Swim lessons are just amazing therapy! Honestly, Little C has made more progress with swim lessons, than with Occupational Therapy at the hospital. I find that he is so much more regulated, and he absolutely LOVES going. If we could afford it, he would go all summer. This is our last week and our Haitian Sensation is really swimming! I also love the social skills aspect of being in a swim class. He needs few redirections, and leaves tired, calm and happy. If you are parenting a sensory impaired child, I would highly suggest swim lessons as one form of therapy. I am sorry we didn't start them sooner...

Notice the super-close crop...Daddy is learning how to use the clippers. Just a minor incident with a "reverse mohawk" LOL! Mommy fixed it though, and Little C is loving the freedom!

God is giving us daily wisdom when dealing with Little C's sensory issues, we see so many positive changes. We have found that gentle, calm redirection works so much better than a raised voice. A raised voice only seems to amp up the reaction, and impair his ability to process directions. When I am stressed and rushed, it only stresses him out- and everyone is unhappy. I am looking forward to taking him to school this year, walking him to class, being able to chaperone field trips, volunteer from time to time. Homeschooling Big C will afford me this luxury. At some point, we hope to homeschool Little C as well. For right now though, it is Big C's time. We covet your prayers as we move in this direction.

Riding Lessons

Little C just started therapeutic horseback riding. Today was his very first lesson. Does he look happy or what?

He could barely contain himself. He did amazingly well, and didn't show even the slightest bit of fear. There is a ton of research behind the therapeutic riding. It works wonders with Sensory Impaired children, for children with Autism, even people/children with physical disabilities. The riding strengthens their core, settles their central nervous system, and the list goes on. Little C was noticeably calmer today. That, in and of itself, makes it MORE than worth it!

This is one very, happy boy! I mean, just look at that sweet face! Thank you Lord, for blessing us with these children!

In the Storm

     As they sailed across, Jesus settled down for a nap.

     But soon a fierce storm came down on the

     lake. The boat was filling with water, and they were

    in real danger. The disciples went and woke

    him up shouting, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"                 

    Luke 8:23-24

In April we received a phone call from the police department at 3:30 am, alerting us that Big C made some pretty poor choices. Disoriented from being awoken from a sound sleep, we made the frightening discovery that our 14 year old son was not asleep in the next room. His bathroom window was cracked open just a bit and outside that window was a ladder...

There are no words that can describe how I felt in that moment. In the days to follow, I was a robot, functioning on auto-pilot. I was buried in grief, continually questioning myself...

     Why didn't I see the signs?
     How could my child leave my home in the middle of the night,
     and place himeself in that kind of danger?
     Do I even know my child?

I found it hard in those moments and weeks that followed to completely process what happened. At times I found it almost impossible to pray...and at others, I poured out my heart. I was a yo-yo, vacillating between faith and fear.

     When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and the raging waves.
     The storm stopped and all was calm!
     Then he asked them, "Where is your faith?"                      
     Luke 8:24b-25

David knew I was struggling. He finally said to me, "Sara, are you going to continue to approach this situation from fear or from faith?" I found the pit of fear to be all consuming...there was no light there, only darkness. I began envisioning all kinds of frightening scenarios...there was no end to where my imagination could go. Yet, there was no peace in that place. Anxiety, fear, worry, doubt, guilt, and grief were all threatening to completely engulf me. Me. This is not about ME. This is about a 14 year old boy, who was just beginning to deal with some pretty overwhelming stuff. Pain, anger, bitterness- all of these emotions had taken root in his heart and he needed ME to be the mother God called me to be.

It was that point that I had to answer the question that Jesus asked his disciples,

     "Where is your faith?"

Yes, where was my faith? Adopting an older child is never easy. They come to us with a life that was lived before us, they have a history that does not include our family. In Big C's case- eight years transpired before he entered our home. Eight years of hurt, pain and rejection. Some adoptees are wired to be more resilient than others. Others have learned a host of survival skills, skills that do not just vanish because they enter a family.

God is doing a work in Big C's heart...as his parents we continue to pray that he will be completely healed of the hurt and pain of his past. If you are parenting a hurting child, please know that you are not alone. It is not easy and we need one another. We need to be able to reach out, lean on others who have been there. We need to support one another in prayer.

The Lord continues to grow my Faith. What he is teaching me is that this situation is simply one of his tools. We are a work in progress.

Shoveling

So you are 14, have some community service to do, and lo and behold- you can shovel some doo- doo at the same place where your brother is taking horse-back riding therapy. Beautiful! Mom makes one trip…an opportunity for the teenager to do something useful (65 hours worth), even better.

Sometimes in life you have to shovel a bit of doo-doo. As a parent I find that I have had to shovel my fair amount, so it is only fair that my spiritual offspring should as well. J

                “Mom, there was so much poo! We just finished shoveling, and there was more!”

Ah, my son, such is life. As overwhelming as these things can be, there is a lesson in it. Christ wants so much more for us.  Instead of becoming bogged down in the muck and mire of our circumstances, he wants to help us shovel out. He wants us to quit feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go quite the way we planned (so hard to accept for the planner!), and if shoveling poo is where he places us…I say we dig in, and make the most of it!

Recently we hit a huge bump in the road with Big C (hence the reason he is shoveling poo)…this could have gone one of two directions. As his parents, David and I had a choice to make. We could become devastated over where Big C “could be” headed, or we could choose to believe that the Lord revealed these things to us- in order to help him “shovel out”. The Lord is beginning the painful process of purification. To the world, this appears devastating. To believers, this is a beautiful beginning. I, for one, am excited to see where the Lord leads Big C.

We can see the tide shifting, and while there was a moment or two (or three) where I felt tempted to give in to the tidal wave of anger, hurt, fear and self pity, I want to be clear- none of those emotions are welcome here! I have to ask myself the question, “What does Christ want for our family?” I believe the answer is, “To bless us”. So I embrace that blessing.

                Isaiah 30:21

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,  your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it”.

The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives...

How did we get here? Well...it was a long time coming. So here I am...standing on the edge of this precipice, about to make the big leap...brand new title, brand new life...

*Home-School mom
*Domestic Goddess
*Loving Wife

Okay, starting to make myself a little sick here...but truth be told, this is what I will be doing. Homeschooling, stay-at-home mom-ing, and of course coupon-ing ('cause how else could I be stay at home mom-ing without the couponing?). That's a lot of "ings" for a girl who has never really done ANY of these without some kind of outside work.

I could beat myself up endlessly for NOT doing this sooner, but I know that the Lord wouldn't want me to do that. I am here, now, because He called me to be. Finally, I listened. Listening is not something that I do all that well, so this is monumental in and of itself, but there is so much I have to say and share here. So much to share about our adoptions, our journey to home-school Big C, and I think a lot of it is worth sharing.

For so long I have felt all alone in my adoptions. Since I ran the program the second time around, I missed out on the opportunity to feel truly connected to the other moms. It was like some invisible wall separated me from them, and it created this lonely pocket that I have bumped around in for the longest time. I feel certain that there are other moms of older adoptees who could truly benefit from what we have experienced, learned and learned the hard way.

For the longest time I have felt like the Amateur Parent. It is like I was never issued a ticket to the exclusive "mom club" because neither of my children came to me as infants. There are many stages I missed and therefore have felt "out of the loop". Big C just turned 8 and Little C was 4 and 1/2 when they finally arrived. My heart aches and longs to have been there for ALL of the early stuff, and yet that was not the Lord's plan. For a planner like me, it is often hard to accept that His plans will almost always be so different than mine.

So today here I am standing on the edge of this precipice...refusing to look back, doing my darndest to continually look up. Daily, working to look up... and to take it day by day.