This photo changed everything. The Lord wrote this story, of that I am sure. I will start at the beginning...
David and I were married in December 1995. Not quite a year later I was given some devastating news. After routine surgery to remove an ovarian cyst, I was told that I had advanced endometriosis. The recommendation drastic drug therapy, then for us to attempt to get pregnant. They didn't want us to wait...there was no time they said.
We felt we had no options, so first I began a drug enduced menopause at 23. I was less than pleasant to live with, had hot flashes that came on like a shot, kept me awake at night...spritzing myself with a spray bottle fan and feeling I would come unglued. When it was over, we began to work on conception.
In 2003 I had my fifth surgery to remedy this disease, I was tired of the fertility drugs, of the repeated appointments, changing doctors 3 times...I was left with a fallopian tube and 1/2 an ovary. That little ovary should "get up and go" they said. Ummmm...well, it didn't.
We discussed adoption a few times, but never got very far. To be honest, I was shattered. I watched with joy and sadness as my friends all began to build their families around me. David and I filled our time with world travel. He loved to travel, and over time I began to love it too. It didn't matter where we went as long as we were together.
Not once did David ever express anger or regret. He told me over and over again that it didn't matter, all that mattered was that we had each other. His love pulled me through. Still I had a void that could not be filled. I felt incomplete. I felt like less of a woman...that infertility, specifically endometriosis stole my ability to be whole. In 2003, the Lord began to fill that void in my life.
My entire life had been spent in church, I gave my life to the Lord at an early age. For the longest time I had a foot in the world and a foot in the Word. Riding that fence gave me no peace...it was time for me to take a stand of faith and I began to dig in. The Lord began to renew me, reach me, touch me...heal me.
On March 16th 2004, David ran into an old friend. They ended up having lunch and his friend shared that they were in the process of an International Adoption from India. David came home energized about this idea. I pulled out the adoption packet that I had ordered only weeks before, I had hidden it in a drawer. Many countries were highlighted, we ruled out Guatemala because it was so costly. China was high on our list and we decided to begin doing some research. I was cautiously excited.
March 17th is my birthday. That morning as I sat doing my prayer and devotional time, I felt the Lord place a name on my heart. Sarai. I questioned prayerfully, "Sarai? Lord I don't understand...why would I name a child after myself?" Sarai(Sarah) is someone that I always identified with...she received the blessing of a child late in life. Yet she had to learn to listen and trust the Lord, and that is something I identified with as well, the struggle to trust.
Later that day, David and I met for lunch. We were excited about the possibility of adoption and began to look online for information. I had a half-day that day, so when David left to go back to work- I stayed online. I found a website, Precious in His Sight. It was a photolisting of available children. I clicked to look at infants and there she was....Sarai. I felt that it was a sign of some sort, and e-mailed the information to David. I called the woman from the agency who photolisted Sarai. She was in the process of being referred to a woman in Texas. She was not meant for her I felt, but the woman promised to call me back.
That afternoon, as I came to pick up David I asked him if he looked at the photo. He did he said, but it wasn't her photo that grabbed him, it was another photo. The photo of the boy I thought was just the poster child for the website. When David saw him, something in him stirred. He too thought he was the poster child for the website, but when he moved the cursor over his photo it turned into a hand. He clicked and there was the link...name, DOB, location...
Guatemala. He knew in his heart, this little boy was meant to be his child.
I was shocked. I could not put into words how I felt, but after teaching Emotionally Disturbed children for a number of years I felt too burned out to take on a child who may have a good deal of emotional baggage. Then the agency representative called and spoke to David. She told him Big C's story...I felt like throwing up. How could I turn away from a child like this? How? Yet, what about a baby? I had the strongest desire to mother an infant, and found myself more confused than ever.
That night I started
The Purpose Driven Life bible study. I went, even though it was my birthday and I was in a mental fog- and on the drive home the Lord began to deal with my heart. When I arrived, I marched in and told David,
"I will pray. If the Lord puts a burning desire on my heart to adopt this child, that is what we will do. " David wept.
I found it difficult to fall asleep that night, but continued to pour my heart out to God and then eventually released the whole thing. I asked Him to place that burning desire there...if it was His plan for us. The next morning I awoke with a sensation I had never before experienced. It was, without a doubt the burning desire. It physically engulfed me- I felt nauseated at the thought of
NOT adopting this child. I knew in my heart that he was ours, and I woke David. We wept together.
The rest is somewhat of a whirlwind. For those who have adopted before, receiving a referral before you so much as have a homestudy is basically unheard of. Yet, that is what happened here. By May we were visiting...
Above is our very first family photo...he was a tiny little guy. He was just so precious. At 8 years old he weighed all of 42 pounds soaking wet. We were smitten...he fit right in! He had the most amazing sense of humor, we laughed with him continuously.
Big C and David played water guns for days! The little guy had the best time, but time was slipping through our fingers and before we knew it, it was time to return him to his orphanage. We were inconsolable, as we had no idea how long it would be before he was able to come home. The agency told us that it could be at least a year.
Upon returning home, we submitted our dossier (a collection of papers needed by the home country to process the adoption). We began more waiting...but then, a miraculous thing happened. In early-mid September I got a phone call from the agency while I was at work. I found that to be odd, and became worried. The director asked me if I was sitting down. Then she asked me if I was ready to travel to Guatemala, because our son was ready to be picked up! Seriously???!!! I was elated! It was nothing short of a miracle! He was literally processed in 3 mos- from the time our dossier arrived, less than 6 mos from the time we saw him! We booked our tickets.
Big C's birthday is September 17th- we were due to arrive, pick him up and return home in time to celebrate his birthday with him! We couldn't believe it, we were due to travel on September 11th (I know, hard day to travel)- but Hurricane Charley had other ideas. There was no way we could travel, we had to board up our windows, secure our home- miss his birthday. I was devastated, the airlines understood and wouldn't charge us a thing. Hurricane Charley came and went, and one week later we traveled.
As we arrived to pick up our son, time stood still. To be standing where I knew that God had placed us nearly overwhelmed me. Big C was God's plan for our family. In that moment, I felt grateful for endometriosis. As strange as that may sound, I thought of the Robert Frost poem...
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
For us, we took the road less traveled, and
that has made all the difference. Thank you Father, this road continues to bless us.
